TATAY

Daddy, Dad, Daddy Yo, Pop, Papa, Ama, Abba, Erpats, those were some of the lists a father often called. Me, I simply call him TATAY, He was not the sweetest father of all time or I may say he is not sweet at all. Actually I cannot even remember he hug me all my life or kiss me on my birthday or special occasions. He spanks me when I did something wrong. He never tells stories about fairy tales and the knights with shining armor. Sometimes when life was tough then, I remember I even feel how distant he was to us his children. 

Growing up I feel the pain that he planted in my heart. I hated all the things about him that I've wanted, but he never had and never did. I created my small world feeling sorry for myself and thinking that I deserve a better father than him. College came and the relationships between us never change, but I think I mature a little bit because of failed relationship and heartbroken I’m beginning to understand the difference between opposite human being, I’m beginning to learn that you cannot ask other people to love you the way you wanted to be loved. Right after college, He and Mom decided to go overseas with my siblings maybe he wanted to fulfill some of his dreams and aspirations to his family and  I was left out all alone. I hated him a lot more because I blame him for not teaching me how to live on my own, why he didn’t tell me that time comes and I needed to learn the hard way.  

I live on my own because I did not have a choice. Trials after trials came, some people took advantage of me, but I have learned. Other’s judge me not even knowing the real me. But it’s true that when life knocks you down never forget to look up.  Because just like him, my father in heaven never forgets his promises and his love was unconditional. God send so many angels as many as he can along the way, he makes my life in proper direction little by little until one day as I wake up my life was already in proper order because of these angels that he sent. 

Yes my TATAY was not perfect he spank me when I did something wrong because he just wanted me to learn from my mistakes, he never hug me so often but he never fails to put blanket while I am  a-sleep because the wind was so cold, yes he never tells stories about fairy tales and knight in shining armor because he never wanted me to believe in false hope and false romantic relationships. That life is not all a bed of roses. That life isn’t easy, but it’s all up to you how to make it worthwhile and happy. He never tells us that he loves us but those simple act of kindness like he never leave us when life was tough and not perfect between him and mom, yes he was distant because he was just trying to hide his emotions because he doesn't want us to feel the burden that life brings. 

Now that I have a family and children on my own I am beginning to appreciate him and misses all the things he did in action, for now I know that action is better than words because he never fails to show that he loves us not in words but in action because he's a true blooded male species, Man of few words. I love you Tay, Pagaling ka, I miss you and Hope to see you soon. Magkukwentuhan pa tayo at maririnig kopa ang wala kamatayan mong sagot na sa tuwing tatanungin kita via phone kung kumusta kana simpling sagot pero makabuluhan “heto buhay pa” na ibig sabihin salamat sa bawat araw na nagdaraan at darating dahil may pagkakataon pa tayong ayusin anumang kamalian at gusot mayroon ang buhay natin. Tatawa ka pa sa mga jokes ng mga apo mo. Pipintasan mo pa si nanay sa mga walang katapusang drama nya sa buhay hehehe. Ingat ka at maaring di ko madalas sabihin ito sa’yo pero SALAMAT sa lahat at huwag kang mag alala dahil nagiisa ka lang sa buhay ko.