Training

Homeschooling is one of the most fulfilling callings I have experienced so far. As a mother, watching your children grow—not only academically but also emotionally, spiritually, and socially—is one of the greatest rewards you can ever receive. There is something truly special about witnessing their little victories every day, from finally understanding a difficult lesson to showing kindness, responsibility, and confidence in ways that cannot always be measured by grades.

Attending this seminar not only taught me how to become a better teacher and facilitator, but it also reminded me how important it is to truly listen to the needs of my students—my own children. Every child learns differently. Some learn by reading, others by doing. Some need more time, while others simply need someone to believe in them. As parents, we sometimes become so focused on finishing lessons that we forget to pay attention to the child in front of us.

One of the greatest lessons I learned is that homeschooling is not about creating perfect students. It is about building meaningful relationships, nurturing a love for learning, and helping our children discover the gifts God has given them. Education is not just about completing books or passing exams; it is about preparing our children for life.

This seminar also reminded me that learning never stops—not for our children and certainly not for us as parents. Every challenge inside our homeschool is an opportunity for us to grow in patience, wisdom, and grace. We are not expected to know everything. We simply need to have willing hearts that are open to learning alongside our children.

To every parent who sometimes wonders, "Am I doing enough?" or "Am I teaching my child the right way?"—you are not alone. We all have those moments of doubt. But remember that your love, your presence, and your commitment to your child's growth are already some of the greatest gifts you can give.

Homeschooling is not always easy. There are difficult days, unfinished lessons, and moments of exhaustion. But there are also countless moments of joy, laughter, discovery, and answered prayers that make every sacrifice worthwhile.

I am grateful for opportunities like this seminar because they remind me that before I can teach my children well, I must first continue learning myself. After all, the best teachers are those who never stop being students.

Marriage

How Do You Know He's a Keeper?

When I read this list, I couldn't help but smile because it reminded me of my own marriage. No, our marriage isn't perfect. We've had misunderstandings, difficult seasons, financial struggles, and moments when we had to choose love over pride. But looking back, I can honestly say that God gave me someone worth keeping.

We've been together for twenty five years now, yet my husband still makes me feel loved. We may not always send long, sweet messages like we did when we were younger because life has become busier with work, children, and responsibilities. But I have learned that love isn't measured by the length of a message—it's shown through everyday actions.

He has always made me feel beautiful, even during the seasons when I struggled to see my own worth. There were times when I doubted myself, but he never stopped believing in me. Sometimes, we need someone who can see the beauty in us before we learn to see it ourselves.

One thing I truly appreciate about our marriage is that we don't let problems stay unresolved for long. We may disagree, but we choose to talk, pray, and forgive. We've learned that winning an argument is never more important than protecting our relationship.

He has never taken advantage of me. Instead, he has always respected me as his partner. He supports my decisions, especially when I chose to homeschool our children. Even when the journey wasn't easy, he believed in me and trusted my heart as a mother.

One of the things I admire most about him is that he is my biggest cheerleader. There were many times when I doubted my abilities as a teacher, as a mother, and even as a person. He would gently remind me that I was doing better than I thought. Sometimes, all we need is one person who believes in us until we learn to believe in ourselves.

He also loves my family as if they were his own. Marriage is not just about loving one person; it's about embracing the people who helped shape them. Watching him care for my mother has always reminded me that love extends far beyond the two of us.

Like every couple, we've both made mistakes. But I've learned that saying "I'm sorry" doesn't make a person weak. It shows humility. In our marriage, we've both had to apologize, forgive, and begin again more times than I can count. That willingness to start over has made our relationship stronger.

Most importantly, my husband has always pointed me closer to God. He doesn't just encourage my dreams—he supports my desire to grow in faith. That, to me, is one of the greatest gifts a spouse can give.

Marriage isn't about finding someone perfect. It's about choosing each other every day, even when life becomes difficult. Butterflies eventually become deep friendship. Romance grows into commitment. Feelings mature into faithfulness.

Looking back, I realize that a "keeper" isn't someone who checks every box on a list. A keeper is someone who stays, grows with you, prays with you, laughs with you, forgives you, and continues choosing you through every season of life.

I thank God because, despite our imperfections, He gave me not only a husband but also a lifelong partner, my greatest supporter, and someone who continually reminds me what faithful love looks like.

"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." — Mark 10:9

Success

The 6 Rules of Success

Success doesn't always come from having the most talent or the best opportunities. Sometimes, it comes from the small choices we make every day.

1. Trust Yourself

When I first started homeschooling my children, I constantly wondered if I was making the right decision. Many people had different opinions, and I often questioned my own ability. But deep inside, I believed God had called me to this path. Little by little, I learned that trusting myself also meant trusting the One who guided me.

Lesson: You don't have to know everything before you begin. Sometimes you simply need to take the first step.

2. Break the Rules

Everyone expected that a good education could only happen inside a traditional classroom. We chose a different path through homeschooling. It wasn't the usual way, but it was the right way for our family. Not every rule has to be broken, but sometimes it's okay to choose a different path if it helps you become who God created you to be.

Lesson: Don't be afraid to do things differently when you have a good reason.

3. Don't Be Afraid to Fail

There were lessons that didn't go as planned. There were days my children weren't interested in studying, and there were days I felt like I had completely failed as a teacher. Instead of giving up, we learned together, adjusted our plans, and tried again the next day.

Lesson: Failure isn't the end. It's often the best teacher you'll ever have.

4. Don't Listen to the Naysayers

People will always have something to say. Some will doubt your dreams, your decisions, or even your abilities. If I had listened to every negative comment, I probably would have stopped homeschooling years ago. Instead, I chose to listen to the people who encouraged me and, more importantly, to God's voice.

Lesson: Not every opinion deserves a place in your heart.

5. Work Your Butt Off

Dreams don't become reality by simply wishing for them. Every day, I prepare lessons, read books, clean the house, cook meals, and still try to be present for my family. Some days are exhausting, but every small effort adds up over time.

Lesson: Success usually looks like ordinary work done consistently.

6. Give Back

Everything we receive is a blessing meant to be shared. Whether it's knowledge, kindness, encouragement, or simply listening to someone who needs a friend, giving back makes our success meaningful. The greatest reward isn't what we keep—it's what we give.

Lesson: Real success isn't measured by how much you have but by how many lives you've touched.

Final Thought

Success isn't about becoming famous or wealthy. It's about becoming the person God created you to be—someone who trusts, perseveres, works hard, and helps others along the way.

Remember, you can't climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. Take the first step, keep moving forward, and don't forget to lift others as you climb.

Do not forget to share. Someone out there might need this reminder today.

Journey

It has been more than twenty years since we started our homeschooling journey. There have been many moments when I questioned myself and wondered, "Am I doing the right thing for my children?" Like every parent, I want to give them the best foundation possible, and sometimes that uncertainty can be overwhelming.

That is one of the reasons why I posted Bible verses on the walls of our previous home during the time my children are still little. They serve as daily reminders—not only for my children but also for me—that nothing is impossible when we put God at the center of our lives. Whenever doubts begin to fill my mind, His Word reminds me that He is the One leading our family, and that His plans are always greater than mine.

Years ago, I was not as self-assured, assertive, or confident as I am today. Although my Apo (grandmother) faithfully reminded me every day that I was beautiful, pretty, and loved, I still struggled to see my own worth. My childhood was simple and ordinary. I grew up in an environment where life was not always easy. Every day seemed to require hard work just to accomplish even the simplest things.

                         

As the youngest among my siblings, one thing I will always be grateful for is that I never had to beg for love or attention. My family may not have had much materially, but they gave me something priceless—their love. Looking back now, I realize how blessed I was to grow up knowing that I belonged and that I was cared for.

But if I could go back and speak to my younger self, I would tell her that her value was never determined by her abilities, achievements, or the opinions of other people. Her worth had already been established by God long before she ever understood it. I spent so many years trying to prove myself, believing that I had to earn acceptance or become "good enough." I now know that God had already accepted me long before I learned to accept myself.

Perhaps that is why I understand my children differently today. Homeschooling is not only about teaching mathematics, science, language, or history. It is about shaping hearts, building character, strengthening faith, and helping them discover who God created them to be. Academic success is important, but it is not the greatest measure of a successful education. If my children grow up loving God, walking in His ways, treating people with kindness, and living with integrity, then I believe we have accomplished something far more valuable than good grades or impressive achievements.

There are still days when I question whether I am enough. There are moments when I compare myself to other parents or wonder if I could have done things differently. But every time those thoughts come, God gently reminds me that these children were never entrusted to me by accident. He chose me to be their mother, knowing all my strengths and all my weaknesses. His calling always comes with His grace.

Looking back over these past seven years, I can clearly see God's faithfulness. He has provided wisdom when I lacked it, strength when I felt exhausted, and peace whenever fear tried to take over. He has patiently molded not only my children but also me. In many ways, homeschooling has been God's classroom for my own heart.

Today, I no longer want to measure success by the world's standards. Instead, I pray that our home will always be a place where Christ is honored, where learning points us back to our Creator, and where my children will always know that they are deeply loved—not only by us as parents but, most importantly, by God Himself.

The journey is far from perfect, and neither am I. But one thing I have learned is that when God is at the center of our home, every lesson, every challenge, every failure, and every victory becomes part of His beautiful plan. And for that, I will always be grateful.

Welcome to my New Personal Blog

Hi everyone, I want to introduce to you all my new personal blog. Hope you will subscribe. On this blog, I tackle topic more about homeschooling. You will find a  variety of resources and materials about homeschool. Please visit and leave a message if you can.

You can also subscribe to my free ebook, kindly check, you might find something interesting and helpful.

http://lynpalmares.e2serve.com/

Also check my collection of ebook on my Library.

http://lynpalmares.e2serve.com/library/

 Thank you and God bless.

Ate's Essay

(Part of Ate's Literature book is to write an essay about any topic she wants to write and this is what she wrote that moves me)

Excerpt in Ate's essay:

I know now that God knows me. He has helped me and my family through countless of troubles. God help me and love me. I regret when I was young, I thought God didn't want me, and I lost my confidence and faith. Until when he send me to my loving teacher. He used my teacher to tell me that God loves me no matter what. I just need to pray and ask for forgiveness. My teacher taught me a lot of things I needed to know, and I was thankful to my teacher and to God. Although I don't know what my future lies ahead, but I know for sure that in the future I will still love God and put him first in any circumstances. --Ate Danna.

Recently, I have been trying to seek God more during my quiet moments. As Ate Danna and Ethan prepare to leave, my heart feels both grateful and sad. They will be returning to the Philippines to continue their studies there. Studying here in Malaysia is quite expensive, and considering the cultural differences, there are also many adjustments students have to make just to fit in. We will definitely miss them. They have been with us for two years, and during that time, we created so many wonderful memories together.

When Ethan first came, I found myself questioning my worth—not only as an individual but also as a teacher. Although I graduated with a degree in Education, I never practiced teaching professionally. Instead, I pursued librarianship, which, for me, felt much easier than teaching. When Ethan came into our lives, I believed I still had so much to prove before I could truly call myself a teacher.

Even then, I believe God was already reminding me of who I am through Isaiah 43:4: "You are precious in my sight, you are honored, and I love you." Yet despite His promises, my self-worth remained low. Perhaps it was because of the many unexpected and painful experiences I had gone through before they came into our lives.

There were times when I wondered how God could love me beyond measure. I never questioned my faith in Him or His faithfulness to me because, through every hardship and every failure, His grace never ceased to amaze me. Looking back now, I realize that maybe God wasn't trying to prove His faithfulness to me—He already had. The real struggle was my inability to believe what He had been saying about me all along. He gave me signs over and over again to show me that He was right and that my doubts were wrong. This wasn't the first time He had done that. God has shown His faithfulness to me countless times. The problem was that I kept returning to the same unhealthy people, the same circumstances, and the same patterns. As we say in Filipino, "Matigas lang talaga ang ulo ko."

The reason I never pursued teaching, despite finishing my degree, was because I believed that a diploma, credentials, seminars, and CPD units were not enough to become a good teacher. I was afraid of the kind of influence I might have on the children entrusted to me. Teaching is more than delivering lessons—it is helping shape lives. That responsibility always intimidated me.

When I started homeschooling my own children, I slowly gained confidence. But I still wasn't confident enough to teach other children—not until God sent Ethan and later, Ate Danna.

Ate Danna came the following year, just when I was about to give up on Ethan because many of my plans had not worked out. During that season, I prayed earnestly for God to show me the right people and place me in the right circumstances. As always, God remained faithful to His promises. Something happened that changed everything. I knew I could no longer go back to where I had been before.

There was a quiet voice in my heart saying, "You've already been there. Don't go back." I know there are people who may not understand my decisions and who may judge me, and that's okay. Sometimes, we have to walk through difficult seasons to discover what truly matters. Those moments reveal where our priorities lie and where our loyalty really belongs. Is it with God, or with the people around us? Are we living to please God, or are we more concerned about pleasing others?

After everything that has happened, I believe my mind is finally clear. When Ate Danna and Ethan leave, I know deep in my heart that I did my best. Regardless of other people's opinions or judgments, I know I gave these two children the best foundation I could as they prepare to face the world on their own.

As for me, I plan to continue teaching. If God gives me the opportunity, I also want to study the profession more deeply and continue growing as an educator.

And as for me and my household, we will continue to love, serve, and praise God regardless of what other people may say. I no longer worry if people misunderstand me or think I am merely using the name of the Lord. God alone knows my heart, and He is the One who will judge me—not people. My desire is simply to glorify Him.

After all, every blessing I have today came from Him. I am proud to say that God is the One who has provided it all. To Him alone be all the glory.

John 17:4  "I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.

Gratitude

Lately, I have started to appreciate the life God has given me and the work He has entrusted to me. I have begun to realize my true purpose in this world.

Sometimes, in our desire to fit into the world, we work so hard to become the person we think everyone expects us to be—even when that may not be who God is calling us to become. We spend so much time trying to make other people happy, believing that if everyone approves of us, we will finally be happy too.

We become so consumed with what others might think or say about us that we forget to ask the most important question: "Lord, what do You want me to do? Who do You want me to become?"

The truth is, we can never please everyone. That is simply the reality of life. Sooner or later, someone will misunderstand us, disappoint us, or even hurt us. The real question is not whether we will be hurt, but who is worth making sacrifices for.

Ethan

The noisiest... but also one of the most lovable.

Was it worth it?

Without a doubt—yes.

A year or two ago, I tried to return to the life I had before—a workaholic mother of three. I applied for many jobs, hoping to continue the career I had left behind. Unfortunately, I wasn't accepted into most of them. For a while, I felt as though I had lost the person I used to be because I had stopped working almost ten years earlier.

Ten years ago, I made the decision to homeschool my children while they were still young. The first few years were not easy. I was adjusting to a new country, a new culture, and a completely different way of life. I was far from my comfort zone, and there were many moments when I questioned my decisions.

Eventually, I found a job. I attended interviews, was hired, and worked for about a year. But then I resigned.

It wasn't because I disliked the job or because the salary wasn't enough. Deep inside, I simply felt that something was missing. My heart wasn't at peace. I realized that what I truly wanted was to be present for my children during the years they needed me most.

Please don't misunderstand me. I have nothing but admiration for mothers who work outside the home. In fact, they deserve so much respect. Balancing a career while raising children is no easy task. I've experienced that life myself, and I know how exhausting it can be.

Whether a mother works full-time at home or outside the home, there is no competition. Every mother wants what is best for her children, and every family's situation is different. We should celebrate one another instead of comparing ourselves.

During our art project

(Basket making)

Lovi's basket

Ate and her work

of art

Doing some Arts

and crafts

Looking back, I can honestly say that choosing to become a full-time homeschooling mom was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Sometimes we need to make sacrifices today that our future selves will thank us for tomorrow.

No amount of money can replace the joy of witnessing your children grow day by day. Time passes so quickly. One moment they are learning to read, and before you know it, they are becoming independent young people with dreams of their own.

Every day, I have the privilege of guiding them, learning with them, laughing with them, and watching them become the people God created them to be. These ordinary days, which may seem repetitive to others, have become some of the most meaningful moments of my life.

Over the years, God also entrusted other children to our homeschool journey.

Ate and Ethan

My two additional

blessing from God

I will always be grateful to their parents for trusting me with their children. To be honest, there were many times when I felt afraid. I wondered if I was capable enough or if I would be able to fulfill the responsibility God had placed in my hands.

But every single day, these children reminded me why I said yes.

Their curiosity, laughter, creativity, and simple faith reminded me that life doesn't have to be as complicated as adults often make it. Sometimes, the greatest lessons come from seeing the world through the eyes of a child.

There will always be people who question our choices or tell us what we cannot do. Years ago, I probably would have spent my time defending myself or trying to prove them wrong.

Today, I have learned something different.

The best response isn't always to argue. Sometimes, the best response is to remain silent, keep doing what God has called you to do, pray, and allow Him to fight your battles.

Not every criticism deserves a response, and not every opinion deserves a place in your heart.

God knows our motives. He sees every sacrifice that no one else notices. He understands every tear, every prayer, and every act of obedience done in secret.

If He has called us to something, He will also give us the grace and strength to accomplish it.

Looking back now, I no longer see the years I spent at home as years I "gave up" my career. Instead, I see them as years I invested in the lives of my children—and that investment has brought a reward no paycheck could ever replace.

I may never become the richest person in the world, but every time I see my children growing in wisdom, kindness, faith, and confidence, I know I have already received one of God's greatest blessings.

At the end of the day, success is not about how much money we earn or how impressive our job title is. Success is knowing that we faithfully lived the purpose God prepared for us, loved the people He entrusted to us, and left a legacy that will last far beyond this lifetime.

What are we in this world?

The moment I started reading the bible, I always find it quite fascinating. Not because I am a religious person honestly I am not, I'd rather have a relationship with him than being religious, because as I grow older and increases the number in my age God reveals Himself a little bit each day to me. Don't judge me for being so vocal about my faith and label me as someone whose using the word of God to my advantage. Mas ok na yon kesa si taning ang gamitin ko di ba? 
Aminado ako I am a sinner and everyday I ask God to forgive my sins pero hindi ako hypocrito. God forbids me for my bad attitude. I know He will yon lang pinaniniwalaan ko and that He will love me no matter what and I proved that already because He continuously bless me and do so many wonders in my life. Maybe God, see something what the human eye cannot.
Sabi nga never compare your journey with others. Your path is unique. Own it and make the best out of it. With true honesty at the end of the day when we are about to close our eyes, try to imagine whose with you. Then that is the only time that we realize who and what are the most important thing in our lives. Lately since we had so much time, actually time is one of the most important thing in this world because it's just vanish so fast without us notice it sometimes, it's not money or energy as what others says, minsan kung sino pa yung nagsasabi hindi lahat ng bagay pera try to check what kind of lifestyle they have. Sometimes reality we are just a reflection of what we think and see of our surroundings tama? Because when we loose time we can never get it back so be careful how and who we spent our time with. Arnold and I started to revisit our Life goals. Little did we know we have achieve something naman pala. 
Minsan kase sa sobrang kabusyhan feeling natin bakit parang walang nangyayari sa buhay natin. It's still the first quarter of the year. I know with the guidance of the Lord life would be easy and happy and more goals on how to have a fuller life can still be achieve. So before we close our eyes in the evening always remember or maybe ask ourselves what are we in this world? Isn't that we are just a mist in the night that vanish in the morning. Have a blessed day ahead of us.

Dear 50 Year Old Self

Twenty fifteen (2015) is almost over. Five more hours and Twenty sixteen (2016) will be part of our present life. As we create another story let us let go of all the hurts people brought us, the mistakes we had in the past and let us all move forward with a grateful heart. And as we celebrate the New Year with our family. I want to take this time to write a letter to my future self. :)

Dear Future Self,

December 31, 2025

I never do this in my entire life talking to you but I know it's about time to be close to you now that I am nearly half the age, fifty (50) to be exact. Ten or nine years from now I will be retiring I am sixty (60) by then. I know that you also want to have a good life just like me and anybody else, such an hypocrite if someone says he doesn't want a better life in the future. Though Arnold always ask me what is my definition of a better life? Well it all depends on every individual I think. I hope you did enjoy watching the beach from sunrise to sunset, together with our children and their family. Good health is all I am wishing for. Ten years from now I know most of our dreams came true already. We visited almost part of the world, and we will visit the rest more. Thank you for being kind to me. I just want you to have more life to live so that we can serve and bless others more. I know God bless us abundantly and I know God has a plan for our fortune. The Children are already grown up and I am happy for what and how they become. I hope that they will just continue what we have started. By the way the home for our elders are ready for renovation. They are just waiting for your approval. And the newly hired teachers for our school are ready for orientation. And our book has a good review from the public. Our stocks are falling down a bit but it doesn't matter, it doesn't affect our finances at all. Today ends another year and tomorrow is a new beginning. I will continue to praise God for all the abundant blessings He provided us. I will never get tired loving and praising Him. I will never stop helping and blessing others as well. So on this day future self I just want to thank you for always being there for me and for not leaving me despite of all the circumstances. God bless to us. Cheers and Happy More New Year to us.

Letter to Person who almost ruined my faith

Dear Someone,

I hope you are in good mood upon reading this letter. It's been months, oh now a year already that I almost totally got out of my inner self. I thought that my experience upon experience already made me stronger and no challenges can break my soul again. But with what you have shown me, I realized that in life we should never stop creating ourselves for you made me feel completely worthless and again you almost ruined me emotionally.

I don't hate you though I want to thank you.

It took me months before I finally realized that it wasn't me not being good enough for you, but you were not being good enough for me. Though I constantly reminding myself that relationship should be shared by two different people having a common goal to love and satisfy the needs of others and I am trying to convince myself that I wasn't able to satisfy you in what so ever circumstances we had. But you also have to admit that I also deserve better than just being ignored, I deserve better than just by being manipulated, I deserve better than just being judged and labeled as a person that I was not. I deserve better than you.

I know I'm not the person as I was these past few months because I would never give someone complete power over me where I feel worthless. I have consumed nothing but negativity for a while. Good thing there are still a lot of people who can be a source of light to other people's darkness. And I was so thankful to them because they bring back my courage and faith in myself when at times I woke up every single day drowning and hoping your hand will pull me up and save me. But I was wrong, I realized lately that your hands were never there to save me, but instead you were there to push me below the surface and it adds to my sorrow and pain but it's okay. For I know someday, someone will going to save me because God is faithful even though sometimes I lost my confidence in me. But he never was, he never fails to show me His love and mercy everyday.

I just want you to know that you add darkness during my toughest day in my life. I trusted you with all my heart. I told you every single part of my dark life. When in fact I never ashamed of them because that's how God made me for who I am today. I know you are a good person, but next time asks yourself, what it was you ever did to me. Imagine me, someone who trusted you, consider as my best greatest confidante but it turn out to be the other way around. I don't blame everything to you. But imagine me, someone, who blame herself for being not good enough, someone who almost lost her faith in herself, someone who almost got lost how a relationship should be despite her undeniably years of experience. Imagine and feel all of these, I want you to think of all the things you never saw, all the things you never experienced, all the things that were kept hidden in my heart.

And now I want you to think of the person I have become, and I want you to know that I am thankful for you creating someone that I am not. I am no longer feel worthless, I no longer have to force happiness. No more do I have to seek validation from others just to feel that I am worthy. I am thankful you were part of my life because you are the worst best thing happen to me.

I do hope you're happy, and I just want you to know I don't regret having you. I would never wish for you to experience the same hell as me, I just wish you the same happiness that I can finally experience everyday without the approval of others. Thank you for engulfing me in darkness, thank you for helping me grow, and thank you for pushing me further below the surface. For you have thought me to trust myself more without the opinion of others and most specially you have thought me to trust God more than ever without the help of others. Too many great things have come from that darkness.  Too many great things have come from you. And I wish and hope that too many good things will happen to you specially what all you heart desire.

For in the end, We accept the love we think we deserve.

And So why nga?

Why is English so hard? This has been circulating in social media recently or maybe long time already (huli lang ako sa balita). 

Actually I am one of those people who find this so reasonable (nagpapalusot lang po hehe). Parang Marian Rivera lang ang peg, haha Hindi dapat sukatan ng talino ang husay sa pag ienglish -- Marian Rivera.

Did I really regret why I didn't take my student life so seriously, specially when it comes to English subject, though I enjoy every bit of it telling my children walang halong pagsisisi. 

But if given a chance and giving the right advise to them. I will definitely tell them na huwag na akong tularan pa. I've done so many mistakes in my past and I can relate those mistakes for not taking the English subject so seriously. I am telling them this not because I am wiser than them but because I know how much pain they need to go through if they will not take life a bit serious at an early age. 

People will judge you according to the norms and standards of the world and society. Pag hindi ka marunong mag English bobo ka, at kagaya din ng mga sumusunod, pag nangutang sa iyo ng nine times then doon sa ika ten times wala ka ng ipapautang, masama na ugali mo, pag nabuntis ka ng hindi kasal pokpok ka na, pag gusto mong mangarap mayabang ka. Pag naayos mo na ng konti buhay mo nag iba kana at hindi kana ma reach. Haha anong connect.  These are the cruelty and reality of life and being not so good in English is one of the things some people can judge you as stupid and ignorant..

And the not so good in English is one hell of a battle that I need to overcome. Specially when you are mix up with thousand of highly intellectual people. Educ grad eh! Nagmasters pa so mataas expectation (salamat talaga sa editor ko hehehe). I thank God I passed that stage looking back I am just so grateful for the high expectation. Na untill now trinatrabaho ko pa rin hehe. But one thing for sure, I may not be so good in it but what is important is I am willing to learn continuesly,  improve myself and overcome the change and challenges of life.

We've Learned from our Mistakes

I was about to write the third step on how to Pay off debts since I and my husband promised that we will share everything we've learned in any way possible. After all the bad things happened to us in the past it's a way of giving back (kahit sa blog lang) so that they will not experience what we've been through. I want people to know that there is hope and there is a big God more than their debts and problems, that they don't need to worry even though they are drowning with debts, been there done that. But before sharing the 3rd step, with a lot of blessings coming our way these past few months I just wanted to share something first.

When that happened to us my interpretation of God's words became different. It became positive, writing some few verses that help us then get through it, that might be useful sa makakabasa. 

      For I know the plan I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. -- Jeremiah 29:11

Eight (8) years ago turning nine (9) this coming August, I still remember because I was about to give birth with my youngest, she is turning nine this coming August. Our life was way, way, lot more different from today miles and miles away if I may say. Thinking how we survived that chaotic part of our lives was still a big mystery to me and my husband. We are drowning with debts, we are living in a one bedroom apartment because the other room need to used as a stock room for my husband business venture. I have three little kids who are still depending on us, no cars, no savings, a lot of posts dated checks need to be paid, lenders calling me left and right just to remind us that they need to bank in their check as soon as possible, living in a paycheck to paycheck salary and not even enough to sustain our everyday needs, because our salary was less than the amount of debt we need to pay, cancer- afflicted me, operated twice, became a single mother of three in an instant (My husband went overseas) some of the most important people in our lives past away without any signs. It was really a rock bottom life. 

       And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. -- Philippians 4:19

Buying something for my children was not on my priority list at that time. I remember one time going back home after office hour, I was thinking of my son and I wanted him to buy a pair of socks. I was with my co-worker walking because we wanted to save our money on transportation, we saw this guy buying used sim cards in the market. Oh, by the way, my husband went overseas after realizing that there is no way we can pay the damage done to us after what happened to our last business and he left everything behind, well what I meant was, he left all the garbage but not his responsibilities. Imagine one room full of garbage? what am I going to do with those garbage? At that time if only I can do magic and turn those garbage into money better isn't it, problem solve, but it was not easy. I ask my husband at that moment on the phone, and without blinking and hesitation maybe out of loosing interest to the business he just told me to throw away everything and he doesn't want to see them again when he comes back (I know those garbage cost a lot but since I am not an Engineer for me they are mere garbage),  but God really works in mysterious ways I was able to dispose and benefit from them, little did I know that after selling those bunch of sim cards I am in front of a vendor buying socks for my son since the next day was the opening or the first day of school and he still needs new pair of socks to wear . Thinking now, those events were meant to happen, because those experiences made us who we are today, it is true that you cannot share unless you have something to share, it gives us more faith and understanding that during those rough times it was the biggest blessing we ever had. 

     Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. -- Matthew 11: 28

Why had the biggest blessing? because my husband and I learned so many things it's a kind of OJT, the most expensive on the job training about life,  that when you cannot do anything about the situation just close your eyes and take a deep breathe. We learned to depend on Him. We learned to ask for something extraordinary, I even challenge Him  (Well God loves challenges, by the way, just to prove that we are wrong and He is right, that He is more than we ask for), we learned the power of humility which we need in able to survive. It was so amazing that most of our lenders which we didn't run away were so kind they even gave us food sometimes just to survive, they supported us all the way. Because during those times It was really difficult to eat decent meals if all our lenders will ask us to pay them all at one time. I save every bit of my salary and every remittance my husband send me just to pay our monthly dues. 

*April 19, 2011, was our freedom day, last payment of the remaining check,  free from debts and from that day on we read, we study, we listened to any informative things then we share as much as possible para ma retain sya. Sabi nga pag nagkamali huwag ng paulit ulit. Now we believe money is not the problem of every person but their pride and attitude.

   For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways. -- Psalms 91:11

During those hard times real friends came, those people whom I never imagine I will ask favor from them, sometimes they even have the initiative to lend me money when gas run out when milk was on their last scoop and diaper was on the last piece. (That is why I believed in Angel) God really send the right people to us. Each day was a miracle for me at that time, every struggle there was an answered prayer, and even me, I cannot explain how those things and events happens and those people came out every day. Though according to Bo Sanchez "God stands by his friends. I became more faithful to him, I've learned the power of tithing, the power of giving more than receiving. Now no regrets with all those events. God really works and walks in a mysterious way. We may not know what His plan for us today, but rest assured that He will never leave us nor forsake us. And those angels they remained loyal to us, and it didn't end there because more angels keep on coming.

Have a happy and fruitful life.

Liberal versus Traditional

While browsing Facebook some post got me motivated to share my thoughts about being liberal or traditional. Let me start this writing by defining these two words. LIBERAL means willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one's own, open to new ideas while TRADITIONAL define as an existing in or as part of a long established tradition; habitually done, used or found.

Writing this is just base on my own personal opinion, but also based on my own personal experiences so reading this try not to be judgmental. For they say experience is still the best teacher in life if you really wanted to succeed and find true happiness. A person can be highly and academically intellectual in school but ignorant, unhappy and foolish in real life. Socrates believed that there were different kinds of knowledge, important and trivial. He acknowledges that most of us know many "trivial" things. He states that craftsman possesses the important knowledge, the practice of his craft, but this is important only to himself not to others. But this is not what Socrates is referring to, He is referring to the most important of all knowledge and that is "how best to live". He put forward as the factor as a basis of arguments and that is not easily answered, and most people live in shameful ignorance regarding matters of ethics and morals.

Now let us go deeper and take a look at the broad side of which of the two can help us go through in life. I am not an expert I am just trying to share something that my children might be able to read in the future. I cannot say that I am too traditional because I believed that there are some ways or some few things in the past that needs to be buried behind. 

For example in my family we homeschool our children, we encourage them to accept the fact that mistake and failure are two normal things that they need to embrace, that all they need to do is just think of the ways how to go through it and what to do if they commit mistakes or if they fail. No one taught us about how to face failure but in reality failure is part of life, you cannot appreciate success if you don't know what failure is all about. We homeschool them not because they have problems or because we cannot afford to send them to regular school. We believed in the saying that if we think education is expensive try ignorance. We homeschool them because we believed that they need to embrace changes just like how we embrace TELEVISION, COMPUTER, AND TECHNOLOGY that they need to realize that improvement is parallel to changes. How a person is able to improve if his doing the same thing over and over again and wanting a different result, taking the same road and wanting the different destination  that is totally foolish. 

We don't have anything against traditional school because without it weren't able to know the basic, but we believed that there are more than the world can offer, most people know this especially those who started living their dreams after they realize finishing first in school is not the end result of being successful, that life is a race of reality of everyday event happening in our lives not a destination that everyone is expecting no finish. That is why no one can define us because of our mistakes or because of our decision we make. In reality, we are the one doing our destiny, our happiness.

Next we teach our children the importance of money and relationship, Money is not the main thing in our family because if it is, my children are all wearing NIKE, playing the IPAD, having all this luxurious thing that money can buy then buried ourselves in debt, but it isn't, because we believe that literacy is better than ignorance, we believe in love, integrity, discipline and honesty. Actually according to survey these people are not really rich because truly rich people believe that financial independence is more important than displaying high social status. That is why we believe that we need to teach our next generation the importance of how to be financially literate or else the cycle will go on and on and we don't want that to happen. We wanted our children that at the end of the day when we don't have all the time and energy to help people they will be there to continue what we have started with their time, energy and resources, because we also believe if we can give more than our time why not maximize the thing if it is possible. 

Being traditional is good but there are also pros and cons. For example in a family, the male is the sole responsible for taking care of the families economic needs that are good because the wife has all the time to take care her children but with our modern world we cannot consider these things. Unexpected things might happen and we as a wife may not be ready yet same goes with our children because they might be getting used to it, believing having somebody around all the time to pick up their pieces. In a traditional environment, parents and children relationship are strong and stable but wait till both parents and children feel the burnout. As children are growing we as a parent must learn how to let go and we cannot just do this if from the start we didn't train ourselves that our children are not our possession, for according to Kahlil Gibran a prophet:

"Our children are not your children. 

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you, 

and though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts. 

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls, 

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams."

There is only one goal I believe that every human individual wanted in their lives and that is to be HAPPY. If being traditional makes you happy be it, and if being liberal makes your life better just go on and makes your life better and always remember this...

" People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost ". --Dalai Lama

Home Run

18 

Movie time! my husband and I usually have this movie time specially when kids are already in bed sleeping and we are in the mood to share our "we time" together. Last night since we felt so tired because our weekend schedule was extremely extraordinary we decided to watched movie together since we are not doing it for quite some time maybe because we became so busy this past few months. 

At the start of the movie, someone sends a message on Kakao telling us to read Isaiah chapter sixty (60). I am not really a Bible reader because growing up, reading Bible was not part of our home environment. Bible reading was merely a part of force implementation I may say at school so I never enjoy reading the Bible at all. Since the movie was about to start I just told myself that, okay I will check on it later or if not, tomorrow. Because sometimes I fell asleep in the middle of the movie. 

The movie was the usual story about a pro baseball player with a substance abuse problem, forced to rehab in his hometown because there was a 12-week program in their church that according to his manager was quite effective. But the movie was also about finding new hope, accepting the past and moving on. He gets honest about his checkered past and takes on coaching duties after his brother got into an accident because of his careless driving. This movie was highly recommended if you want to change your life :)

In the middle of the movie my husband and I are both sobbing, with our fair share of experience with our parents. Him with his alcoholic father and me with my emotionally abusive mother. Obviously my husband will not let me notice it but watching this movie make us realized that our life is not a product of our past. This movie was so timely with what is happening in our lives now, how the Lord change and still changing us both. We both came in a family that I can say the normal one. Me on my part, I saw a lot of misunderstanding, fighting about money, and personal issues. My mom used to beat us her children with something that she can pick up every time her anger arises, insult was the usual words every time she has a problem with money, with my father, with her relatives. 

I kept grudges especially on her even though she loves me more than my siblings since I am the youngest of the brood. As I became older I didn't notice that those feelings files up in my emotions, that the reasons why I wanted to satisfy her are not because I love her or because I am an obedient daughter but because I am afraid of her anger, I am afraid that she might hit me even though I am already grown up, since I saw what she and my sisters had been through in the past, I don't want to disappoint her. Growing up I followed every detailed that she wants me to be.

Time went by and the Lord was really true to his promises.

Matthew 10:37-39

37."Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

When my mother left me,  after a year or two I realized that she was not her that I really wanted. I was nearly crazy and rebellious when she left me, by then I was old enough to destruct myself. Failed relationship after another looking for someone to take care of me the way she took care of me. Just like my mother it was music to my ear every time I said bad words and insult other people and heard insult from them in return, but God really knows what our heart desire. Carrying my own cross she sent a lot of angels along the way, that every time I stumbled down someone was there to pick me up. It is true that just honor the Lord and definitely the right people will find you. I got tired running around and He sent his most trusted angel. I called her "Nanay". She took me in her wings without hesitation. I thought it was the beginning of something else, but cycle began to roll. I had my first victim, my son. Just like my mother I love him but I am not fond of taking care of him so Nanay was the one who took care of him. What I hate about my mother I was doing it with my son. I beat him, insult him and I got angry without any reasons at times. But I never heard anything from the angel that he sent to look after me and my son.

That went on until my mother came back and be with us again. My life became chaotic again though my mother began to slow down and became more caring to us and her grandchildren. But this time I am already struggling with my past. I am afraid that my son will see how my mother treated me and how I treat her in return and he will do the same thing to me when I grow old. That every time I beat my son and my mother will be in the middle I always told her "you used to do that to us right". I told her intentionally because I wanted her to feel bad, that unconsciously that is already some sort of revenge. That every time  I always bring back the past, that every time I beat my son and she was there to witness, I am already hurting her so badly until she left me again and be with my sister again. I am still longing for her, but I know I am not yet ready to face her, that I still need God to heal me, to forget all about the past. 

Isaiah 43:18

18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19 See, I am doing a new thing!Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.

It is true that our past doesn't define our future, that our life is not a product of our surroundings that we can create our own destiny if we want to, but not on our own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding

I am now on the process of facing my past, I already pass the initial steps, I am trying to control my anger especially with my eldest son whom I love so dearly because I know he is also God's angel when I had him. I am fully aware now that my mother had her own past issues that need to attend and I began to understand her more and I am praying for her each day. It is true that when the Lord calls you, you cannot say no. He will use your past hurt and mistakes to understand other people why they reacted that way. I know I am still a work in progress, I am still hurting inside and do some sins sometimes, I still got angry at times, I am not writing this because I wanted to be praise, I don't want to please people now, I don't care what they will say or how they will going to treat me because I already understand better now. I just wanted to share that it is not yet too late. That God loves us regardless of our past circumstances and experiences, that his favor upon us is unlimited, that He has always time for us, that He is just there waiting for us. To love Him with all our heart because He loves us first, long time ago.

Isaiah 60:19-20

The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light and your days of sorrow will end. 

Have a happy and fruitful life