Trip to Melacca

The most treasured moment I had been was our Family Bonding. Not the material things. As we attended the mass yesterday about Forgiveness, the 70 times 7 times. Ya, Ya I know they didn't accept me as their friends (They still have grudges after so many years tsk!tsk!Wait what have I done!? I don't remember any, are they guilty or envious maybe, because they never thought, they never thought what he becomes) or maybe they just want to be friends only with big time people. But God knows even though I didn't yet forget their bitches name hahaha. I already forgave them. I don't have rights not to forgive them with so many blessings that keep on coming. And this trip was one of the so many blessings I received. I enjoy only by watching and I will remember this as long as I live. Thank you for my better half.

First Car

We just had our first car, I am a bit hesitant because I am still considering a lot of things, but I know after how many years of being married and all the  hassle and inconvenience in life I know and I believe that we both deserve what we have now. I consider having a car to drive, was like a marriage need to be nurtured all the time. There will be a wrong turn, bumps, scratches but despite all of those it doesn't mean that we will stop driving. Our car still needs and  deserve to be clean and to be taken care in spite of those injuries because it gives us so many advantages in life, it was part of our necessities. 

"Many treat marriage like a teen shopping for a car. Emphasis on flash and looks, but no concern for long-term maintenance". (Jimmy Evans)

Shortly after we are done with our huge and unimaginable amount of debt, my husband began looking for a car because he believes that it was already the right time since our children are already growing. It's been 9 years since he had his first driving lesson but having a car was not came to reality then because trials after trials never stop. From then on since we cannot yet afford to have a car, he tried everything to ignore the fact that he's dreaming of having a car of his own.

Well we all does, no one doesn't dream of driving their first car ever, even the richest person on earth. Me too I cannot deny that I am mesmerizing every time I saw a lady driving her own car, but because of so many I call it humps in our togetherness having a car became the least maybe not last in our priorities. 

Until one day, it just happened that we are already talking of getting a car and the internet was always there  to look for, to view of what kind of car, what brand and what color. We are so happy just by talking and deciding what color to choose together with our children. 

My husband was very meticulous in everything, well that is one of the best qualities I liked about him he knows what he wants and he will not take rest until he gets what he wants. Me I am just the usual "whatever"  as long as I have something to use, but not him. Now I can relate that to our marriage and I consider myself lucky, it was like choosing what car to buy when he choose me and how he will going to take care of it. 

Most of us prepare for marriage like a teenager shopping for a car. We get sidetracked by      how it looks, we want speed, accessories, we focus on what we'll get out of it now but       forget to consider the future. We pay no mind to long-term maintenance and immediate    gratification. This results in plenty of people getting married without having prepared  themselves for the expense and maintenance aspects of the relationship. (That is why I am thankful for having a meticulous husband sabi na pin tsu king kaselan ku so I let him decide on his own).

So now that he already owned a car it was time to take responsibility for keeping it operable and in good shape. And I know he is mature enough because I already prove it in our relationship. He did not reject me when he found out that I need maintenance, he love me, he cared for me, he showered me love and appreciation, he sheltered me. 

But how many people are ready to reject a spouse and find a new one as soon as problems arise? Marriage is not a trade-in business like a car. If you want a marriage without maintenance or fun without faithful devotion, then your attitude is immature and unrealistic. In marriage, a husband and wife each acquires a precious gift from God. Each is given a lifelong friend, lover, and helpmate and I just did all I have to do now was to enjoy him, love him and make the best out of him.

Quote # 7

‎"What you do not know can't harm you. This is a false statement for what you do not know can actually kill you".

I actually stop for a while and had thought about this, then suddenly something came into my mind to believe in this statement. Then I realized that the reason why war was around the globe was because of some inexperienced and immature  people, just like the one I know (*Arinolang makisoso king pisasabyan hahaha) that instead of making peace they are actually messing up to make matters worst and we don't have to be professional just to learned our lesson well.  I know a lot of highly educated people in government and universities because they are craving for power and attention they forgot what is right and what is wrong to the point that they are already hurting someone's feeling without even knowing it. Been there, done that and I regret all of it because I work in an environment where most of the people are intelligence in their own rights and I am one of them until I have to realize that life was here to enjoy. 

There was news about Osama Bin Laden comrades that they are planning to call for additional revolutions in Yemen and Saudi Arabia what for? they are just making matters worst. I kept asking myself why, why they are trying to mess up by adding fire to the situation are they aware of what kind of principles they are fighting for, how many civilian they are hurting, families they are destroying did they know all of these. Yes, we have different belief and principle but are they reasonable? Aren't they want to have the world that full of peace and happiness, no war, nor hurt, no loneliness?  War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes when their sons go to fight and lose their lives. I am not trying to have malicious intention over this, I am just trying to give my opinion over the matter and hoping that every war in every corner in the world will stop in full period for the sake of our future generation, for the sake of the world we live in. It's just a hope and nothing to lose.

*Arinola = Filipino word for potty use in urinating.

Mother's Day Blessings

Bad news from the television, the internet, and radio sometimes makes me feel sad and afraid on what kind of world is this that we live in, not to mention personal experiences and encounter with mean and narrow-minded people that what they know was just to judge other's people lives. What kind of life my children will be when I am gone. But this mother's day allow me to share you this experience I had with a taxi driver. Maybe out of happiness that he saw little children again with a smile in their face, he freely shares his stories to us. As we travel from our destination every word that came into his mount was a big learning experience from me and my husband and I consider it a mother's day blessing that I even felt some tears in my eyes.

He told us that he has 4 children all grown up two boys and two girls. His eldest was 30 and his youngest was 23. All working and trying to make a mark in the society, according to the proud father he told his children to do the right thing, work hard, buy a home a good one, create a family, and then try to have a car if possible, but don't depend on him now that they are all grown up for he said that he already gave them the best a father can give. Good education and a great family only those two things and he said the rest is all up to God. He said that whoever want to own the ancestral home he/she should be the one who will take care of the mother.

I cried secretly on this part because it reminds me of this quote that I know I'm one of the luckiest. (“The greatest gift a father can give to his children is to love and respect their mother” ). Then suddenly he pulls something from somewhere, an old whistle that he was very proud of.  He told us that the whistle was 30-year-old same age of his eldest son, he use that whistle way back, every time he goes back from the office, yes he was an executive way back and now that he was retired he own the taxi that he's driving because he doesn't want to depend on his children. That way back he never did some honky funky that might ruin his reputation and his name because he believes it is the only gift he can give to his children, not the material things. And about the whistle he told us that it's his way of calling all of his children after a long day of working.

Some neighbors condemn him for using such a thing, his neighbors laugh at him and ask him why he is using a whistle, that whistle can use only for dogs or some kind of animal. In the beginning, I start to think he was a cruel father, someone whose tough, mean and bad father. But along the way everything he said was all worthy. His point was these, he doesn't want to shout at his children because according to him their names was precious to his ear, that he love them so dearly, that at the end of day during sunset he wants all of his children to be in his side so he can share all of his stories he had all day long and that is his way of conditioning them just like in school, the morning bell when it rings it means the lessons starts. And then my husband ask him what if on the first whistle they didn't follow.

He told us that there are certain punishment along the way if they were not able to explain themselves or if the reason of not coming was unjustifiable (freedom of expression). He told us that children should know the rules, and as they grow old they will learn to discipline themselves so that when it's time to go to college life they are already adjusted to follow rules and know their limitations. He said that college life has a lot of temptation and if a child has a weak principle everything that a parents hope for will be gone like the wind. He still wants to share a lot and we still want to listen more, but maybe everything in life has a limit, maybe its already times up like a teacher in every subject he was only limited to one topic per session but believed me that one topic was more than half of my life's learning.

That in my whole life I will never forget that one day God send us an angel in disguise for me to understand that my children are not permanently my property, that one day they will leave me and make their own life to live, that what is important is just to love them and show that you care, the rest is all up to "HIM". As we leave his taxi he told my children to love their parents and just believe in God simple message but with heavy meaning, unforgettable. I believe that my husband and I learned so much from him. That on this day I consider it's the best mother's day ever (thank you hubby). And my blessing doesn't end there because our new neighbors unexpectedly gave us something, thanks also to them for now I truly believed that this world was still a better place to live in. And as I close my eyes and talk to him sure did that I will sleep with a grateful heart and silent mind. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE.

Painful Lesson

Every morning as I wake up, I always ask myself did I make something good for my children, a mark so they can remember me when I am gone and out of this world. From the time that I gave up my career (meron ba hehehe) every day I became more afraid on how to treat my children properly without hurting their feelings, without hitting their self-esteem (I am not used to it, but I'm trying). How to make them more responsible, loving and mature individual, now that I am with them twenty-four by seven it is more stressful than ever before.

How to teach them not to be too selfish and self-centered and just think nothing  but only of themselves.  Someone who will not see the imperfection of another person and blame others for the mistakes they've done and planning to do in the future.  I want them to be someone who must know how to sacrifice their happiness for the sake of others (Painful Lesson indeed). They say that life is a boomerang, what comes around goes around and you will be treated the way you treated others and I believed the same with our children. But sometimes I kept asking myself how come mom and dad treat me very well but here I am, I cannot even hug them to show how much I miss and love them because I am too far from them. I cannot do anything about it, but I know mom understands me because she was once a mother just like me. Willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of her children.

I know I didn't have the best parents in the world but I believed there is one thing that I cannot deny that I am indebted to them, life itself  for without them I would not have existed and I know the feeling of giving up your life for the sake of your children now that I am a mother in my own rights.  Soon my children will  realize that  I am not  a perfect mother to them especially when they start to do their own life.  I just hope by that time, they are already mature to love me despite my imperfections because I believed we all make mistakes, no one was born perfect. That they are going to look at all the good things I and my husband have done for them instead of blaming us on how's life treat them. I know it takes a lot of time to become wiser but how come there are still a lot of people who doesn't mature as they grow old. I consider myself as one of them now that I am a mother of three, sometimes I feel guilty of all the immaturity.

The way I reacted sometimes makes me feel like a fool in front of my children but what is important is that as a parent I know when and how to say sorry when I did something wrong. And as a daughter I know how to show love to my parents especially when they needed it most of the times, now that they are old and all their children have a family of their own to take care of, a phone call will do, a simple letter with picture of their grandchildren makes them so happy. I know I argue with them most of the times but it's a fact that as we grow old we became the same wavelength as individual so there are many unavoidable differences and arguments, but that doesn't mean I don't love them and I forgot all the good things they've done to me. This is my opinion, it is better to argue and show that you care than to say nothing and as if you don't care. I just hope I can instill the value of forgiving, faith, the attitude of looking at the brighter side instead of blaming others because of what happened to our life to my children. For I believed in the saying that "LIFE is a CHOICE" it's all up to you how you handle it, live with it or else leave everything behind.