Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Did you Marry the right person?

Sometimes when our spouse does not meet our expectations, we keep on asking if  "DID" we marry the right person?. This will let you love more your spouses rather than complaining about his/her shortcomings.

How do you know if you married the right person? Here's the answer (based only from articles and seminar attended)...Every relationship has a cycle, in the beginning you fell in the love with your spouse. You anticipated their calls, wanted their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a complete natural spontaneous experience. It was a natural spontaneous experience for both of you to play and flirt because it was part of love, courtship, and marriage. ( So pag di ka nag flirt sa buong buhay mo even with your spouse ibig sabihin tuod ka  meaning your numb kawawa naman spouse mo. I think I need to read more books about Love, Courtship and Marriage.)

People in love sometimes say "I was swept off my feet' Think about that as an imaginary expression. It implies that you were just standing there doing nothing and then something came and it happened to you. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience but after a few years of marriage...the euphoria of love fades...It's the natural cycle of every relationship.

Call becomes annoying, caring become irritating, touch is not always welcome when it happens. And your spouse idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute it drives you nuts. The symptoms of every relationship vary in every relationship, but if you think about your marriage you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love. At this stage you and, or your spouse start asking "Did I marry the right person?" and you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriage breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes and infidelity is the most obvious. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within you. It doesn't mean that you couldn't fall in love with someone else and TEMPORARILY you'd feel better...but, trust me, you'd be in the same situation a few years later because (carefully take note of this) THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; ITS LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. and SUSTAINING love is not passive or spontaneous experience (so continuous flirting with your spouse) or love it will NEVER just happened to you.

You can't  find LASTING love. You have to "MAKE" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love" because it takes TIME, EFFORT and ENERGY and most importantly it takes WISDOM (so read more my friend to have wisdom). You have to know what to do, to make your marriage work, make no mistake about it (kung ayaw mong matulad sa iba). Love is not a mystery there are certain laws you have to follow, with or without your spouse to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe such as gravity. There are also laws in a relationship, just as the right diet and exercise program that makes you physically stronger. Just as the right reading materials for the brain to gain knowledge (read more my friend to know between reality and senseless judgment) . Certain habits with your relationship will make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect, if you know and apply the laws the results are predictable and you can make LOVE. So huwag maging tuod (numb) baka iwan ka ng spouse mo hehehe.


1 comment:

purple said...

that is a question that i will continually ask myself everyday of my life.

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